Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
