I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
