My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I had to cum in my sink.
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