Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
