It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
