I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
