Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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