Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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