If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
