Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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