the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
