his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
