it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
