Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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