dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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