I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
