john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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