I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
