I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
