So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
