he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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