you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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