Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize