shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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