she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
