think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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