I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
