my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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