She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
