What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
