My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
