He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
