I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
