4 words: hood of his car
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
