will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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