Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I still have a little drunk in my system
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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