apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
