I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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