his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
