He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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