i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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