I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize