so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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