you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
