If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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