I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you will always have a special place in my vag
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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