the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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