Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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