i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
