So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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