I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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