we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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