Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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