In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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