He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
