Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
...so i touched it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
