So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
