Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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