no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
