What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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