I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
