OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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