i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
