Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Randomize
