we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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