carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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