2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
