i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
