his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
