i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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