eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
