??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
