her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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