it was like having sex with a tree stump
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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