He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize