It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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