Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
