Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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