six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
