Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Girls should come with a carfax report
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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