You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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