I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
